3 Ways to Be a Good Friend to Your Father

How wonderful it would be if a child could become a friend to his father. As a parent besides the mother, a close relationship between father and child is essential.

Sadly, reality is not always that beautiful. Not every father raises with love. Many children find it hard to have a relationship with their father, and it may even be that a child can be very afraid and harbor hurt toward his father. Perhaps you have experienced that as well.

However, whatever your father is like, he is still your father. Even when he has grown old and advanced in age, that relationship will not be cut off. Loving your father as a parent, even a close friend, is something good to pursue.

My Relationship with My Father

I understand that because that is what I have pursued with my own father.

I have never doubted that my father is a very good father to his children. He is the figure of a hard worker and would do anything to provide for the needs of the family. For example, my father was willing to wake up very early to sell traditional cakes in the market. When the profit from the cakes was not enough, he was willing to work as a traveling meat seller. Anything  as long as it was right, my father would do to provide for his family. 

Because of my father's dominant nature,  I became afraid to draw near to him. There was a sense of insecurity in approaching him. I thought, “What if later I get scolded severely?” At one time I felt hurt by his words. At times, his scolding was like the sting of red chilies on the eyelids. Thankfully, I was able to forgive the wrong of my father.

He is now 80 years old, no longer working, and spends more time at home. When I visit him, he is very happy and eager to tell me stories. Even when I am tired, I respond with enthusiasm.

In our free time, we go out together. In fact, on one occasion, I invited my father to pray together. Honestly, it felt awkward, but that is the price that must be paid to become a good friend to him. 

How to Be a Good Friend to Your Father

When our fathers are old, they tend to feel lonely. Their children are already independent and focused on their own families. Their loneliness increases even more if their wife has passed away first.

Your father needs the presence of a good friend in his life. A friend to share with, communicate with, and give encouragement in old age. 

To make that happen, here are 3 things you can try.

1. Keep Honoring Your Father

Even though your father has grown old and is no longer as strong as he once was, your respect must remain the same. He is still your father. He is the one whom God entrusted to be your parent. 

Honoring parents is not only because you want to repay all their kindness. You need to honor him because it is the will of the Lord for you, as his child. 

As it is written in Ephesians 6 : 2-3, “Honor your father and mother, which is an important commandment, as is clear from this promise: that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”

What can you do as an expression of respect toward your father? You can greet him warmly whenever you visit or meet him. You can also take the initiative to ask how he is doing and chat with him. And do not forget, speak with polite words and tone. Perhaps he has grown old and seems unable to do many things, but he is still someone who must be honored.

2. Forgive as the Lord Has Forgiven Us

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came and said to Jesus: ‘Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother if he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him: ‘No! I tell you: not up to seven times, but seventy times seven times.’”

There is no limit in forgiving. That is what our Lord, Jesus Christ, taught. No matter how many times people hurt us, we must continue to forgive them. So it should be in our attitude toward our father. 

As an imperfect human being, your father is not free from mistakes. Perhaps he never intended to hurt your feelings; he only wanted to give the best for his child. 

It is truly sad to see children who do not want to speak to their own father. Because of hurt feelings, some children promise never to visit their father. Even if they do meet, they remain completely silent. Is this not deeply sad?

Harboring hurt and refusing to forgive is the greatest barrier to becoming a good friend to your father. We are sinful people with many faults, yet God chose to forgive. In the same way, God also hopes you will do this toward your father. 

Forgiving is the first step for us to build a good relationship with him. 

Is forgiving alone enough to become a good friend to your father? It is good, but it would be far better if you begin to take steps to do deeds to love him.

3. Build a Relationship with Our Father as a Good Friend

Your love and forgiveness will be more effective when shown through actions. 

As it is written in James 2:18, “But perhaps someone will say: ‘You have faith and I have works,’ I will answer him: ‘Show me that faith without works, and I will show you my faith by my works.’”

Building a relationship with your father requires effort and sacrifice. How?

First is to take part in your father's hobbies or favorite activities. If he likes keeping fish or other pets, we can show the same interest. For example: helping clean the aquarium, buying pet food, or telling him the latest information about that hobby.

Second, you can set aside time to accompany him as he relaxes. What this means is that we can invite him on a safe outing according to his condition as an elderly person. 

Third, you can invite him to pray and talk heart to heart. Through praying together, each person can pour out his feelings to God, and also to one another. Believe it! This is an effective and wonderful way to build a relationship with him. Put aside your shame and awkwardness! Replace them with the confidence that praying together with your father will delight the heart of the Father in heaven. 

After praying, you can share joy and each other's feelings. 

Love Your Father Before It Is Too Late

Why do we need to become a good friend to our father? When we were still children,  our father struggled to provide for our needs in life. He did his best to make us happy. When he has grown old and advanced in years, it is our turn to make him happy. 

Becoming a friend and loving your father is not only because we want to repay his kindness, but this is what God wants us to do. It will delight the heart of our Father in heaven. 

Our father will not be with us forever. Life in this world has its limits. Before it is too late, let us do our very best to become a good friend to him. 

Will we dare today to meet our father and say: “I love you, Father” ? -  Related Articles:

• How to Love Parents Who Have Grown Old?
• 3 Mindsets to Help You Love People Who Are Hard to Love
• Becoming a Loving Son- or Daughter-in-Law
• 3 Ways to Be a Father and Friend to Your Child
• Becoming a Spiritual Father – A Father's Figure According to the Standard of the Word

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