4 Mistakes Women Make in Romantic Relationships to Avoid

Women generally long for deep relationships. We like to be noticed, to have close friends or someone safe to confide in. Needs like these shape the connotative assumption that “women are weak creatures.”

In fact, human beings are social creatures. We cannot live all by ourselves. More than that, we need relationships with others so that we can live well. Both women and men need intimacy and acceptance from others. However, women tend to be more expressive in showing their needs.

Because of this, women often make mistakes when building a special relationship. What are those mistakes and how can they be avoided?

Women Want to Be Accepted and Feel Valuable 

“Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and I love you…” – Isaiah 43:4a 

When your career is not going smoothly, your financial condition is poor, or a life partner still has not appeared, we are often driven to seek self-acceptance in other places. A man who is established with stable finances seems to be a way out of financial chaos. A confidant who always asks how you are several times a day can certainly make your days more colorful and spirited.

As a result, you think a life partner is the only solution for you to feel valuable and accepted. You want to be someone meaningful in another person’s life. You want to feel cared for and loved, no matter how fragile or destructive that relationship may be for you.

How many women, for the reasons above, end up being deceived or taken advantage of by men who want to profit from them? How many are willing to do anything, including sacrificing their safety and faith, for false acceptance and appreciation?

Ladies, you actually do not need acceptance from anyone because God has accepted you. And, not only accepted, He also loves you, and considers you precious in His sight.

So, reflect on this: Which is more important in your life? Acceptance from the opposite sex or acceptance from God? Being precious to God or being precious in someone’s life?

Playing with Fire

Do not be deceived! God is not mocked. For whatever a person sows, that he will also reap. – Galatians 6:7 

The verse above echoes the proverb, ‘If you play with water, you get wet; if you play with fire, you get burned.’ Because of the need for a life partner, a woman may lower or compromise her standards. The values you once held firmly begin to shift. You think, “Rather than not getting married, having no partner, or being labeled an old maid, anyone will do.”

As a result, many Christian women enter relationships with men who do not fear God. Or, they begin looking at dating sites and building relationships with people whose identities are unclear. Not infrequently, because of age pressure or social demands, even though they know a potential partner refuses to improve his character according to the Word of God, they still accept him just as he is.

Sister, do you think God is not able to give you a life partner who fits His plan for you? Do you know that as a single, you are the bride of Christ, the Lord who owns the universe? In other words, you are the most fortunate and happiest woman in the world!

Do not play with fire. No matter how small the flame is, over time it will grow and burn up everything around it. When that happens, its blaze will be beyond control, and all that remains will be ashes and smoke.

Not Seeking Counsel

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22 

The life partner you want is surely one for a lifetime, not a temporary one. So, do not be careless or hasty in looking for a mate, especially by following your own heart and viewpoint. Usually, when we are in love, we find it hard to see everything objectively.

Take a lesson from the story of Samson and Delilah. Samson fell in love with the wrong woman. As a result, he chose an unspiritual relationship rather than remaining faithful to his faith. As a result, the end of his life was truly tragic (Judges 16:30-31). If only Samson had been wiser and sought counsel from fellow believers, perhaps his life’s path would have been different.

When we choose the wrong life partner, the impact is enormous later on. Therefore, ask for plenty of advice from people in your community who are married or have a strong spiritual life. Your failure and success depend on your willingness to seek counsel and carry out their advice.

Not Being Open

I hold fast to Your precepts and Your testimonies, for my whole life lies open before You. – Psalm 119:168

Keeping and hiding feelings will not help you. On the contrary, when you are open, there are many benefits you can gain, including:

• receiving constructive input so you do not make the wrong decision
• being continually reminded to build a relationship founded on purity
• your motivation to live according to God’s plan will be preserved
• being helped to understand God’s purpose and plan

Do not repeat the common mistakes women make when building a special relationship. Let us follow God’s plan so that we do not experience suffering that could actually be avoided, because His plan is the best and the most beautiful. Amen.

For I know the plans I have concerning you, declares the LORD, plans for peace and not for disaster, to give you a future full of hope. – Jeremiah 29:11 

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• Women Who Are Beautiful in God’s Eyes
• It Is Time for Us to Become Mature Christians
• Becoming a Calm Wife in Difficult Times
• A Woman’s Best Makeup
• Humility: Are You Aligned with God’s Image?

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