4 Crucial Characteristics a Prospective Husband Must Have

Marrying an husband who is extraordinary and building a family is a dream, a goal, or something to be achieved by a woman in her life. Yet sometimes the pressure to get married quickly can blind a woman into marrying just anyone, without looking more deeply at his character. “As long as I get married and my status changes.” That is what they are thinking.

But is that way of thinking right? Are you a woman who is also going through the same thing and does not know what to do? 

“Better to marry late than to marry the wrong person.” That is one quote I often hear or hear others say. But what is the right person like? For women, what crucial characteristics must be present in a prospective husband?

Characteristics That Must Be Present in a Prospective Husband

1. Fears God

The most important characteristic that a prospective husband must have is the fear of God and love for God. 

As God says in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

A good prospective husband is a man who grows and is willing to change for the better according to God's will. And apart from God, none of us can do anything. A husband cannot lead his family according to God's will if he himself does not abide in God.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. – Ephesians 5:25

A husband needs to love his wife as Christ loved the church. If he is not in God, how could he possibly love his wife as God loves His church?

Do not lower your standards by choosing a man who does not fear God. One day, you will pay a very high price. Therefore, this character is necessary and must be present in your prospective husband.

2. A Husband Must Have Dreams, Vision, Mission, and a Plan for the Future

The husband is the leader of the family. Meanwhile, the wife must submit to her husband. This is written clearly in Ephesians 5:22. A husband must be able to lead. 

He needs to have dreams, vision, and mission. When will he marry? Where will he and his family live later? How much money must be prepared to build his family? A prospective husband needs to have a clear future plan for his family. 

Plans are established by counsel; therefore wage war with guidance. – Proverbs 20:18

If your partner is not someone who is used to making plans, as long as he fears God and is willing to be guided, there is still hope. However, if he does not fear God, how can he be shaped into a better leader? Therefore, requirement no. 1 is absolute and non-negotiable. 

Women can also help by being open to a mentor or during counseling. This is important so that your partner can be directed to begin making plans. Besides that, as a good helper,pray for your partner in the matter of the character traits in which he needs to grow. One of them is in this matter of making plans. If you are the one more accustomed to planning, help and guide your partner, so that together you can make plans. 

For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and victory depends on many counselors. – Proverbs 24:6  

3. Strong but Tender-Hearted

A characteristic that also needs to be present in a man who will become your prospective husband is that he is strong, but his heart is tender.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9 

This is the word God gave to Yosua. As Moses' successor, Yosua had a great responsibility, namely leading the nation of Israel into the land of Canaan. They were going forward to war in order to occupy the land God had already given them. 

Strong. That must also be present in a prospective husband. Because later, he is the one who will lead his family through everything found in the dynamics of marriage. Married life is far more complex than life when single. Two families become one. There are many things that need to be fought for. There are various challenges that must be faced. And to get through all of that, strength is needed, both mental and spiritual.

Strong but tender are two contrasting things, one could even say opposites. However, both can go hand in hand. A prospective husband needs to have a tender heart. One that is compassionate and ready to help when he sees his wife overwhelmed with managing the household. Willing to be shaped and to learn to become better. Easily moved when he sees his family in trouble. Someone full of understanding, caring, willing to love, protect, and serve. 

Make sure you choose a man who is strong, but tender-hearted.

Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

4. Likes to Give and Help

A husband must be someone who is responsible for his family's needs. Therefore he must have a character that likes to give. This is not only in material matters, but also in energy, time, love, service, and so on. 

Imagine how you would feel having a husband who is stingy, calculating, and unwilling to sacrifice for the family. In the end, you would become the backbone, not the rib. You yourself would suffer if you had a husband like this. 

What do you think your married life would be like if your husband did not want to help? You are running yourself ragged doing the housework, while your husband sits back relaxing with a gadget in his hand. How would you feel? Wouldn't your blood boil and make you upset with a partner like this? 

The good news is, from the time you are dating, you can already see these traits. If the crucial traits that should be there are not visible in your prospective husband, perhaps it would be good for you to reconsider. 

People do not change quickly. Is it possible for habits formed over years to change in an instant because of his love for you? Even if he intends to change, there is no guarantee he can change in a short time. What if he himself does not even have the intention to change yet?

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and whoever gives water will himself be given water.” – Proverbs 11:25

This character of giving and helping is also God's character. If someone grows in his love for God, he will also grow in his love for others. And this can be seen clearly in his attitude of being willing to give and help. 

Get to Know a Prospective Husband Before Marriage

“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” — Amy Carmichael

Marriage is a serious matter. A friend once said, “Marriage is heaven or hell forever, depending on what kind of person you marry.” Therefore, as women, let us not become blind because of love. 

Does the man you love, your prospective husband, have the most important character traits he needs to have? Four of them are, fear of God, dreams, vision, mission, and a plan for the future. Besides that, he is also strong but tender-hearted, and likes to give and help. Beyond that, there are still many other character traits that a man who will become your prospective husband needs to have. And of course, these traits also need to be present in you, so that you can become a balanced couple. 

If you are having difficulties or need help, ask for guidance from a spiritual mentor or someone who can help you. Do not let yourself regret marrying the wrong person. If you do not have someone who can help or are confused about whom to ask for help, you can contact us through the contact below. The Lord Jesus bless you. 

References: 

www.quotefancy.com/quote/25081/Amy-Carmichael-You-can-give-without-loving-but-you-cannot-love-without-giving

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