Be Careful! Don’t Base Your Identity on These 3 Things

When talking about identity, I’m reminded of modeling clay, a toy similar to plasticine that can be shaped easily (for example, play-doh). When I was in kindergarten, there was a craft lesson where the teacher handed out clay that could be molded and created into anything we liked. The lesson felt fun, because children could make whatever they wanted with the clay in their hands.

The results varied too. Some shaped animals, plants, little houses, and other things out of that plasticine clay. Modeling clay became an endless outlet for creativity, because it was so easy to shape by the person holding it.

From that activity, there is one interesting thing. The form of the modeling clay depends on its maker. The clay has no shape until hands give it one. This is similar to how we see and shape ourselves, which we call identity.

The Importance of Identity

Our identity depends on many different things, for example, family background, friends, social media, and even our idols or role models. Yet in the end, the way we view ourselves depends on our decision in making sense of what we receive from those things. 

For a moment, try to imagine what it feels like to have no identity. No name, no memories, no self-image, no vision and mission, no goals and dreams to pursue. Frightening, isn’t it? Life would feel meaningless.

That is why everyone, including you and me, keeps searching for, formulating, and shaping ourselves with the question, ‘Who am I?’ The answer to that question will not appear instantly. Perhaps who you are will only be revealed after years of searching.

The Wrong Foundations of Identity

But if you are not careful, placing your identity in the wrong place is like looking at yourself through a cracked mirror. Why? Because those things do not truly reflect who you are. 

There are 3 kinds of things that commonly become the basis of our identity, yet without realizing it, they can shape us wrongly.

1. Achievement or Accomplishment

If our identity depends on achievement, then we are actually standing on a fragile foundation. If our achievements are high, we feel very proud. If our achievements are low, we will feel inferior. The problem is, is there any guarantee that we will keep attaining success? Of course not. 

This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who relies on his own strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD! – Jeremiah 17:5 

Isn’t relying on achievements the same as relying on our own strength? Besides the fact that success and failure do not come consistently, what you achieve does not truly describe who you are.

2. What People Say

Friendship has a great influence in shaping a person’s character This also applies to us. Our identity, or who we are, can depend on who our friends are. The more often we spend time with someone, their opinions and words may shape who we are today.

The problem is, we may more easily remember or believe what a friend says about us more than what God says about us. On one hand, if a friend says something bad about us, we may take those words into our heart and believe that we are bad. On the other hand, if our friend praises us too much, we can become too focused on our strengths and find it hard to see our weaknesses.

As it says in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”  If you are not careful, those words will shape you, not the promises of God.

3. Your Feelings and Thoughts

Thoughts and feelings clearly do not portray our identity accurately. We can feel so amazing one day and feel so miserable the next. Yet many people base their actions on what they think or feel. In fact, that is mistaken.

This is very evident in sensitive people. Have you ever heard the story of someone whose moodwas ruined by just one bad incident? For example, that person may be having a good day, but because their coffee spills, they become upset for the rest of the day. If something similar keeps happening over and over, eventually they may think, “This is just the kind of person I am! Careless. Useless. Unable to change.”

An identity based on mood, thoughts, and feelings is clearly not solid. How can we build ourselves on something that changes and shifts every day? Like a person who builds a house on sand, we may become people who are easily tossed about, easily influenced.

“Whoever trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.” – Proverbs 28:26

The Foundation of Our Identity: God’s Promises

Therefore, we need one strong and trustworthy foundation for our identity. What is it? The Word of God and the promises of God themselves.

In the Bible, God has already laid out what you should believe about yourself, namely:

• God considers you so precious (Isaiah 43:4, Matthew 6:26)
• God created you wonderfully and beautifully (Psalm 139:14)
• God promises to strengthen and be with you (Isaiah 41:10)
• You are God’s masterpiece. God created you for good works (Ephesians 2:10)
• Jesus loves you. In fact, He was willing to die for you while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:7-8)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Do not let our past , failures, other people’s words about us that do not build us up, our feelings, and our thoughts define who we are today. The Lord Jesus has died to make us new people. We are no longer judged by worldly things, but by what God says about us.

There are still many more promises and design of God for us that you can find in the Bible. That is what should become our anchor and our identity, what we must believe. God, our Creator, is the One who knows our blueprint best, who we are, and what our identity is.

What we need to do  we must live according to the identity God has given us. If God sees us as so precious, masterpieceof God, then we also need to see ourselves according to God’s perspective. 

So, On What Foundation Are We Building Our Identity?

Achievement, people’s words, and our thoughts and feelings cannot become a trustworthy foundation for building our identity. All three keep changing in this uncertain world. But, holding on to God’s promises will give you an unmatched sense of security, because the word of God will never pass away.

If you have already formed your identity on the wrong foundation, there is no need to worry. You can form a new identity again in God, according to God’s design and promises in the Bible. Take heart!  -  Related Articles:

• How Do We See Ourselves According to the Image of God?
• What Is Your Life’s Purpose?
• Turning Feelings Into Strength
• Develop These 4 Things So People Enjoy Being Your Friend
• Courage, a Vital Character Trait for Growth and Life Change

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