Growing Through Failure

Everyone has experienced failure in life. Whether in education, work, relationships, or when the things we hoped for do not go according to plan. It may be easy for us to forget small failures, but what about major failures? What happens when the pain or fear caused by that event grows deeper day by day, even hindering our lives? 

Trauma caused by failure can leave a person stuck in place, hopeless, and unable to move on with life. Yet there is no better way to overcome it than by stepping forward again. What steps can we take to rise from failure and grow?

1. Accept Failure and Forgive Yourself

Jesus said, “Come!” Then Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he felt the wind, he became afraid and began to sink, and cried out: “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out His hand, caught him, and said: “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:29-31

Peter was the only disciple of Jesus who ever walked on waternot on calm waters, but in the middle of a storm. This was one of his moments of success. However, we know that success was preceded by Peter's failure, when he briefly sank because of fear and doubt. 

Then Peter failed again when he denied Jesus three times (Matthew 26:69-75). Yet in the end, Peter grew tremendously and became a great preacher, so that in one day he was able to baptize 3,000 people. 

The first step to rising from failure is to make peace with yourself and accept that you, too, can fail. Forgive yourself for every failure that has happened. If Jesus, who is Lord, could forgive Peter for denying Him three times, what reason do you have not to forgive yourself?

Even though Peter failed many times, even losing his life's purpose by going back to being a fisherman after Jesus died (John 21:1-14), that did not change God's plan for his life. Jesus forgave Peter. Jesus also forgives you for every one of your failures. And He still chooses you. He has a plan for your life that will not change even if you have failed before.

So if Jesus is willing to forgive, accept, and even love you despite all your failures, then you also need to forgive yourself. Once you can make peace with yourself, only then can you move on to the next stage, which is stepping out of your comfort zone. 

2. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

The process of getting back up does not just happen without effort. Peter did not simply stay still after coming to terms with his failure in denying Jesus. He had a task to shepherd His sheep (John 21:15-19). To do that, Peter stepped out of his comfort zone by leading, teaching, healing people, and even dying on a cross in following Jesus' footsteps.

The same is true for us. Life must go on. We cannot keep standing still and feeling sorry for ourselves. We must keep striving, growing, and developing every potential God has given us. 

When you fail at work, perhaps that is the time for you to step out of your comfort zone. What can you learn, change, or improve about yourself? When you fail in a relationship, try to evaluate the root of the problem and what you can improve going forward. 

To step out of your comfort zone, you need to practice these two things:

1. Think Positively

Growth begins with adopting a positive mindset toward everything. Sometimes what makes it hard for us to leave our comfort zone is our own negative thinking. As a result, we have already lost before we even fight. 

Fight those negative thoughts so that your steps forward will feel lighter. Surround yourself with positive people, with reading, viewing, and information that build you up. Over time, this positive mindset will become a habit, an inseparable part of who you are.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or worthy of praise, think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

3. Make a Plan and Be Disciplined in Carrying It Out

Failure can arise for many reasons. It may be because of our own thinking or because of a lack of planning and discipline. There is a saying, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” If you fail to plan, you are already planning to fail. 

Therefore, do your best to make a solid plan. If necessary, ask for help from someone more experienced or an expert. Then carry out each stage of your plan with discipline.

For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and victory depends on many counselors. – Proverbs 24:6

Stepping out of your comfort zone is indeed not easy, but does constantly staying in that zone really make you comfortable? Push yourself to step out and move forward, because only then can you rebuild your life.

3. Grow in Perseverance

After stepping out of our comfort zone, is there any guarantee that we will not fall again? Not necessarily. We may fail again and need to repeat points 1 and 2 many times throughout our lives. 

In other words, we need to build a persevering attitude.

For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble in calamity. – Proverbs 24:16

Persevere and do not give up easily. Remember that perseverance is not built overnight. Through the process of falling and rising, we grow into people who are strong, persistent, and resilient, and in the end, ever closer to our goals or dreams .  

And let perseverance complete its work, so that you may be mature and whole, lacking nothing. – James 1:4

No one likes failure. Yet when we fail, there is no choice but to rise again and grow. Accept that failure and make peace with yourself. Step out of your comfort zone, overcome negative thoughts, make a plan, and be disciplined in carrying it out. If along the way you fall or fail again, do not give up but keep persevering. Don't stop when it's hard. Stop when it's done.

Stay encouraged!

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