Have You Met Your Partner's Emotional Needs?

Meeting your partner's emotional needs is something that must be practiced, especially while dating. A lack of emotional fulfillment during dating can give rise to doubts. “Does he really love me? Is he the person God wants to be my lifelong partner? If so, why do I so often feel unloved?”

After marriage, these doubts have even more serious consequences. In married life, husbands and wives ought to understand one another, so that each feels loved. In reality, many people have been married for years but do not know how to make their spouse feel loved. These unmet emotional needs make the relationship bland, out of sync, marked by conflict, and may even end in divorce.

So, how can you meet your partner's emotional needs?

The Needs of Men & Women in a Relationship

Before we can meet our partner's emotional needs, we need to know the basic needs of men and women in a relationship.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:33

A husband needs to be respected and a wife needs to be loved. This is God's design or blueprint regarding the primary needs of men and women in a relationship. With this, we know where to focus so that our partner feels loved: Men need to learn to love women, and women need to learn to respect men.

How to respect a man / husband:

• Do not argue with him in front of the children
• Speak gently, not with shouting, insults, or put-downs
• Give him praise, encouragement, and tell him you are proud of him.
• Meet his need for intimate relations (for married couples)
• Support what he is doing
• Value his opinions or views
• Praise him in front of others
• Be his biggest fan and support system above all.
• Listen and show interest in what he likes or intends to do
• Show your best appearance when you are going to meet him
• Do and enjoy activities with him
• Treat him like an adult, not a child

How to love a woman / wife:

• Make time for her consistently
• Value her opinions and what she does
• Give her praise
• Accept her as she is
• Be a good listener
• Be open, honest, and genuine
• Say and show that you love her
• Follow her advice, for example on how to live a healthy lifestyle, how to change bad habits, and so on
• Give her meaningful gifts
• Help her solve her problems
• Involve her in the important things in your life, such as your plans and decisions

3 Basic Principles for Meeting Your Partner's Emotional Needs 

There are many ways to meet your partner's emotional needs, but you only need to remember three basic principles that already cover everything:

1. Give Acceptance

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:10-11

It is easy for us to accept our partner's strengths, but what about their weaknesses? Whether man or woman, of course we like being accepted as we are. Though it may sound simple, acceptance is a fundamental need. Sadly, many couples eventually break up or divorce because they cannot accept each other's shortcomings.

No partner is perfect, including ourselves. We have many weaknesses, yet God is willing to accept us. He not only gives us the opportunity to change, but He also changes us. Therefore, we also need to accept and understand our partner's position, just as God has accepted us.

With acceptance, we do not demand that our partner change, as quickly and as well as possible, according to our wishes. Acceptance makes us supportive, patient, and trusting partners, while giving one another room and opportunity to grow.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Be patient (bear with one another) with each other, and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against another, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must do. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together and makes them perfect. – Colossians 3:12-14

Being accepted brings a sense of security, comfort, and makes a person feel loved. Before moving on to fulfilling a more advanced relationship (which takes a lot of effort, energy, and time), let us first ask ourselves: “Have I accepted my partner as they are?”

2. Fill Your Love Tank with Love

After being able to accept our partner, we need to fill that relationship with love.

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. – 1 John 3:18

Love is an act, not just words. That means meeting your partner's needs requires sacrifice. There are things that must be done to show that you love your partner. Just as a plant needs fertilizer and water in order to grow, a relationship also needs emotional nourishment. So, make an effort to fill your love tank as often as possible.

Create beautiful moments together with your loved one consistently, for example by exercising together, dieting together, or accompanying your partner in doing their hobby. For some people, showing affection or care is not easy. However, this needs to be practiced so that your relationship remains lasting and enjoyable.

According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages:

1. Words of affirmation (encouraging words)
2. Quality time (time)
3. Physical touch (physical touch)
4. Acts of service (service)
5. Receiving gifts (gifts)

Each person's love language is different. Ask what your partner's love language is and express how you want to be loved. By filling one another's love tank, a sense of security, connection, and trust in your partner will surely be built. Your relationship will also become healthier because there is love binding the two of you together.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together and makes them perfect. – Colossians 3:14

3. Serving

Brothers and sisters, you were called to be free. But do not use that freedom as an opportunity for the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. – Galatians 5:13

Service is one of the most difficult love languages. In serving, we need sacrifice, whether of energy, thought, or time. God showed His love to us not only with words, but also through service. He healed the sick, cast out demons, fed many people, washed His disciples' feet, and even died on the cross to redeem our sins.

After your relationship is stronger and continues to be built up, learn to serve your partner. When serving, you are not focused only on yourself, but also on the interests of the other person.

However, there may be times when you think, “Ah, it is so easy for them to keep being served. What if you give them an inch and they take a mile? Always wanting more?”

In Acts 20:35 it is also said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” When we serve, when we give to the person we love, when the person we love feels happy, we too will be happy.

So, if you find it difficult to serve your partner, the person you love, perhaps you need to ask, “Do I really love them?”

Meeting your partner's emotional needs is crucial in a relationship. Understand the emotional needs of men and women, and fulfill those needs through acceptance, service, and filling the love tank with love. When a partner feels that their emotional needs are met, they will respond in the same way. In the end, your relationship will become closer and happier. Amen! - References: www.thexycode.com/2014/06/02/what-makes-him-feel-respected/ www.crosswalk.com/slideshows/10-small-but-powerful-ways-to-make-your-husband-feel-respected.html www.icytales.com/11-ways-to-make-a-woman-feel-loved/ www.inspiringtips.com/asia/ways-to-make-your-girlfriend-feel-loved/ www.verywellmind.com/can-the-five-love-languages-help-your-relationship-4783538

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