Empathize with Your Wife: The Key to a Thriving, Happy Life

Husbands usually have strong reasons for marrying their wives, committing before God to remain faithful until death parts them. Yet not everything is always smooth and pleasant after marriage. There are times when a wife does things that go against her husband’s wishes. For example, she often makes demands, does not want to understand her husband’s situation, focuses only on herself, and is spiritually weak.

On the other hand, have we, as husbands, tried to empathize with our wives’ feelings? What does the Bible say about this?

Three Ways to Understand Your Wife

Most men rely more on logic and focus on reality. This makes it difficult for them to enter into or interpret things related to feelings. However, this is not a justification for a husband not needing to empathize with his wife.

Learning from the Bible, I have tried to empathize with my wife’s feelings, and to this day, I am still learning. There are three simple things a husband can do to show empathy to his wife.

1. Do Not Scold Your Wife When (In Your Opinion) She Has a Problem

A patient person is better than a warrior, one who controls himself than one who captures a city (Proverbs 16:32).

I really love cleanliness. Putting things in order, wiping furniture, sweeping, mopping, I do them regularly and gladly. One time, I went out of town for four days for work. When I returned from the trip, I found the house dirty. Because my wife was away at the time, tired and upset, I had no choice but to clean the house myself.

When my wife came home, I immediately asked her curtly why the house had not been cleaned. The result? She got angry and we had a major fight. In the end, we went to counseling and were helped to resolve the conflict.

Drawing wisdom from this incident, I realized that being patient with my wife is one expression of a husband’s empathy. I learned to put myself in her position, to be patient when things happen that I think are not okay, or are not done by my wife.

A person who empathizes will certainly try to be patient. If you can be patient with clients or customers who benefit you, patient with an annoying boss or coworker, then you can certainly be patient with your wife as well. Do not say, “I’ve already empathized with my wife,” while you still like to get angry when you find her faults, without wanting to understand her situation. That means you have not empathized enough and are still ruled by ego.

2. Be Her Friend in Times of Sorrow

“But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife. (2 Samuel 12:23-24a).

Bathsheba’s heart was deeply grieved when the baby she had given birth to fell sick. David, who also loved the child, tried to “soften” God’s heart by fasting and sleeping on the floor all night. Yet their child still died as a consequence of the sin he had committed (2 Samuel 12:1-24). After that, David comforted Bathsheba.

We should become our wives’ closest and best friend. And a true friend comforts in times of sorrow, laughs together in times of joy, and struggles together in hard times. Even though he recovered from grief more quickly, David did not tell Bathsheba to stop grieving right away. He tried to understand his wife’s feelings.

Listen to your wife’s tears or complaints without giving a “lecture.” Weep with her. For most men (including me), crying feels embarrassing and makes us look weak. In fact, a truly strong man is a man who can cry, because it means he dares to show his feelings. Do not pretend to be strong, much less ask your wife to stop crying when she needs time to process her feelings. Show your empathy by becoming her best friend.

3. Appreciate and Support Her Dreams

The Lord God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper for him, fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18

A helper who is fit for him, that is what God said when He created Eve for Adam. Your wife has the same right as you when it comes to dreams. A wife always thinks of what is best for her husband and wants your life together to be better in the future. If your wife is happy and productive in her life, you too will share in that happiness.

At present, we are in the process of buying a house in another city. That means that one day my wife will have to commute to a different city for work every day. Because that would be too exhausting, my wife dreams of opening a laundry business (laundry) with many branches. Even though it is still only a plan, I appreciate and support her dream. I give her motivating words, and we sit down together to think through strategies so that her dream can come true.

I do not want my wife to go through the hardship I have experienced, namely traveling a very long distance from home to the office. If my wife’s dream comes true, the ones who will be happy and move forward are both of us as well. There are many husbands whose lives are stagnant, not because their wives do not help them, but because they do not empathize with their wives. As soon as they hear their wife say, “I dream of doing this or that,” they already speak words that kill their wife’s dream.

Supporting your wife’s aspirations, striving together until her dream becomes reality, is your concrete act of empathizing with your wife. If she succeeds, both of you will enjoy a better life in the future. .

A husband who sincerely loves his wife will try to empathize with her. No matter how irritated you are by her actions or words that you find annoying, be patient. Wait until both of you are calm, then resolve it. Do not repeat my mistake, which was getting angry and not giving my wife the chance to explain.

Be your wife’s best friend in every situation, especially in times of sorrow. No less important, appreciate and support your wife’s dreams, so that both of you may experience progress physically and spiritually. Amen. - Church GKDI is currently present in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area. If you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at contact Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

Related articles: The Key to Building Close Communication with Parents

Inspirational video: