Dating and Staying Holy? Yes! Here Are 3 Ways

Dating while staying holy? It certainly feels hard. Shifting values, media influence, and social circles bring strong temptations. No wonder dating styles today are becoming increasingly ‘bold’, more than in the past.

Yet as people who believe in the Lord, of course our way of dating should be different. 

Why Does Dating Have to Be Holy?

Why does dating have to be holy? You may think, “This is my life. Body, our bodies. As long as no one is disturbed, it should still be fine, right?” Is that really true? 

Of course not. Our God is a holy God, so He wants us to live like Him. As written in 1 Peter 1:15, but be holy in all your conduct, just as He who called you is holy

God wants us to preserve holiness in every area of life , including in dating. The purpose? To glorify and please Him. That is the meaning of holy dating.

So what are the benefits? First, holy dating leads you to learn to respect one another. The presence of respect between you and your partner will move both of you to love and serve. The relationship is also kept healthy because of that respect.

Second, you will be happy because you have offered your very best self to your future spouse. The analogy is like this. If you want to give a gift to your partner, would you want to give your best or just something good enough? Surely your best, right? It is the same in a relationship. Keeping yourself holy means giving the best of yourself to your partner.

Third, you will enjoy the beauty of a relationship in the Lord, according to His design. 

Tips for Building a Holy Relationship

Now we understand why dating needs to be holy. How do we live it out? Here are some tips you can practice.

1. See Your Partner with Purity

The temptation toward impurity is always present in dating. For both men and women, the desire to touch one another or to have marital relations will certainly be very strong. But is that what love is? Is it because we love our partner, or just because of our own desire? 

If we truly love our beloved, surely we will not force our desires on our partner.

2 Timothy 2:22 says, So flee youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace, together with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart. 

That verse teaches us how we should treat our partner. God wants us to pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace. In other words, to keep striving to be respectful and pure with our partner. If you truly love your beloved, you will treat them with respect and purity. 

Believe this: if that becomes your conviction, the temptations to sin in dating can be pushed back!

2. Have the Right Motivation in Dating

Marriage is indeed the goal of dating. That is not wrong. However, you can think more deeply. Why are you looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend? Why do you want to get married? I believe God will be pleased if we have the right reasons. 

The dating season is a time to get to know each other before entering marriage. If done rightly, dating will help both parties grow and go deeper. Of course, everything is done within the boundaries of God's word.

In the end a dating relationship leads to a purpose far higher: glorifying God. This is why a holy relationship must have God as its center and goal.

Matthew 5:16, Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

As the verse above says, a life that glorifies God is a calling for everyone, including those who are dating. With motivations that align with God's word, your dating season will surely glorify your Father in heaven.

3. Have a Community That Will Keep Watch Over Your Relationship

Whether your dating relationship is healthy or not is indeed something you determine. However, there are limits and weaknesses if it is only the two of you going through it. Can we keep dating in a healthy and holy way if no one else is paying attention and guarding us? 

Proverbs 27:6 says, The wounds of a friend are meant for good, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Which would you prefer, having a good friend who will always smile no matter what you have been through? Or a friend who is brave enough to ask about and help your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend?

You need friends who will help both of you. A community that loves God and builds one another up spiritually is a good place for you and your partner. Help from friends will help you and your partner grow, resolve conflicts, and keep the relationship pure.

Holy in Dating, Happy in Marriage

The dating season truly is a very beautiful season, especially when it is lived out in holiness. When you love God and love your partner, you will be able to maintain holiness in dating. The result, of course, is a relationship that is happy and blessed.

By guarding holiness, you and your partner will certainly be happier and able to enjoy everything God has provided.

Related Articles:

• Is It Possible for Us to Live Holy Lives?
• Holy and Happy Living: Is It Impossible to Have Both?
• Be Careful! These 3 Things Could Damage Your Relationship
• Do These 2 Things as You Build a Relationship with Your Partner
• Cultivate Your “Field”: Grow This Character Before Starting a Special Relationship (1)

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