Work from Home, an Opportunity to Build a Strong Marriage

When is the right time to strengthen a marriage? Every moment should certainly be used as well as possible by a married couple. 

However, have you ever wished you had more time with your spouse? Well, perhaps now is the time. Since March 2020, the government has implemented a policy of social distancing and PSBB (Large-Scale Social Restrictions) to prevent the transmission of the coronavirus. In other words, the pandemic period has given many married couples more time together at home. 

Make use of this situation to strengthen your marriage again through constructive activities. Here are three practical steps you can apply together with your spouse.

1. Rediscover Togetherness

Do you still remember the things you often did with your spouse at the beginning of your marriage? Maybe you regularly watched movies together at the theater, or went to a cafe. But over time, your interests and your spouse's interests changed. You prefer going to cafes, while your spouse prefers going to the movies. As a result, you and your spouse no longer enjoy togetherness as beautifully as you once did.

Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose, doing nothing out of selfish ambition or empty praise. Instead, in humility consider one another more important than yourselves. – Philippians 2:2-3

Fight for your marriage above personal interests. During PSBB, your spouse cannot go to the movies, and you also cannot visit any cafe. This is your opportunity to rediscover your togetherness. Watch a movie together at home, or have a romantic dinner. Take part in enjoying what your spouse loves and receive it as your happiness too.

Besides that, you and your spouse can also clean the house, pray, read the Bible together, or worship with other families through an online application.

2. Build a Deep Relationship

Do you really know your spouse? Some husbands and wives have been married for more than ten years, but when asked what their spouse's strengths and weaknesses are, they need a long time to answer. If this happens to you, it means you do not yet know your spouse deeply.

Is there anyone you trust more than your spouse? If there is, know this: it is to your spouse (besides God) that you should give your greatest trust.

But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him, Christ, who is the Head. – Ephesians 4:15

If yes, let your answer be: yes, and if no, let your answer be: no. Anything more than that comes from the evil one. – Matthew 5:37

To grow a deep relationship, you and your spouse need openness. Every person has their own strengths and weaknesses. So, learn to be vulnerable and open about your weaknesses to your spouse. On the other hand, when your spouse tells you or shows you their weaknesses, do not immediately judge, but first of all, accept it.

Openness can begin by sharing how you feel today. Once you are used to that, continue by expressing what is in your heart about your spouse, what you feel about your relationship. Then, be open in admitting your sins, as well as negative thoughts and temptations that weaken your faith. Do not forget, when it is your spouse's turn to share, listen carefully to what they say.

3. Resolve Conflict 

Has the average number of conflicts between you and your spouse increased during the PSBB period? Conflict in the household is something natural in married life, no matter who you are. We will not deliberately go looking for conflict, but instead avoid it as much as possible. 

The very fact that you have lawsuits among yourselves means you have already been defeated. Why not rather suffer injustice? Why not rather be wronged? – 1 Corinthians 6:7

When conflict can no longer be avoided, husband and wife must resolve it. Conflict will drag on if we speak only about facts, look only at right and wrong, and hold on to our own version of the truth. So, the first thing you must do is not look for who is right or wrong. Politely express what you need and apologize if you have hurt your spouse's heart.

If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to seek justice from the unrighteous and not from the saints? – 1 Corinthians 6:1

If you and your spouse cannot resolve the conflict on your own, do not hesitate to ask for advice or help from someone you trust can help. For example, your spiritual mentor. 

We should not look only at the negative side, but also at the positive side of this PSBB period. Being at home can bring good to your marriage, and even make it stronger. Rediscover your togetherness with your spouse, build your relationship to a deeper level, and resolve the conflicts that exist. May God bless your marriage!

And we know now that God works in all things for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to God's purpose. – Romans 8:28

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