Fall in Love or Stay in Love?

Falling in love is an exciting and delightful experience. It feels as though you cannot think about anything other than the person you like. You always look forward to meeting them and want to spend time together.

However, like other things in life, that happiness will not last forever. The next stage is the hardest stage, namely choosing to keep loving your partner even when the feeling of falling in love begins to fade.

Falling in Love vs Staying in Love

Falling in love is the initial stage when you begin to like someone. At this stage, a person can seem perfect down to the smallest details about them. You do not need to put forth much effort to give them your best. These moments are truly thrilling, exciting, and make you feel excited..

It is different with staying in love, or remaining in love. This is the next stage, when that heart-pounding feeling begins to disappear. You start to see things in your partnerthat you did not notice before. The curtain that covered all their imperfections begins to open. As a result, loving your partner becomes difficult and requires a lot of effort.

Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy. It does not boast and is not proud. It does not act rudely and does not seek its own advantage. It is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. It does not rejoice in injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

As those fluttery feelings fade, you need to make the choice every day to keep loving your partner. Contrary to the picture of romance in movies, love is not merely the sensation of being lovestruck and happy. Love has a deeper meaning than merely “falling into it” at the beginning of a relationship. To preserve love, you need hard work and commitment..

God, the Best Example of Love

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13

The Bible says that love is not about oneself.. Love is always about others.. God is the greatest example of loving. Even though the people of Israel repeatedly hurt His heart, He continued to love and forgive them.. God also kept His promises to them. In the end, He came down into the world and was willing to suffer to save humanity. All of that was because of His deep love for us.

So, how can you stay in love, choosing to keep loving like God does, even when all the feelings of falling in love from the beginning of the relationship are gone?

How to Keep Love Alive Even When You Are No Longer Falling in Love

Keeping love alive requires no small effort. Do the following things to help preserve affection for your partner:

1. Keep Doing the Things That Make Your Partner Feel Loved

As the years go by, we tend to stop doing the things that once added color to a loving relationship. For example, sending gifts or holding your partner’s hand. In fact, these simple things are what keep the “fire” of our relationship alive. Do not stop doing those things. If necessary, ask your partner what else you can do to make them feel loved.

2. Do It in Different Ways

Doing the same routine over and over will make you and your partner bored, and the relationship will become bland. Go to different places on the weekend, or enjoy new activities you have never done before. You can also try going on a date with another couple (double date). This will remind you how enjoyable the time spent with your partner is and why you first fell in love with them.

3. Listen to and Appreciate Your Partner

Are little things about your partner starting to annoy you? Take time to talk together. Listen to their complaints or feelings. This will help you appreciate your partner as an individual who has their own feelings and opinions. Invite them to keep communicating about each other’s feelings and expectations.

4. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive

One of God’s most important commands is to keep forgiving others. That includes your partner. In fact, you should forgive them more often than you forgive anyone else. They are the person closest to you, and the one who will most often make mistakes against you. Every time you forgive, God will work and restore your relationship. Besides, surely you want your partner to do the same, don’t you?

5. Learn from Other Couples

When you are being ruled by emotions and personal judgments, it is usually difficult to see everything from the right or objective perspective. Enrich yourself by learning from other couples. From them, you can learn how to forgive your partner, how to communicate well, and how to resolve conflict. With support from a positive and supportive environment, surely your relationship with your partner will continue to grow and become more vibrant.

Falling in love is easy. However, continuing to love is a personal choice that we must make every day. This choice is not easy because it comes with responsibility and hard work, especially if you have entered into the covenant of marriage. Even so, God as the ultimate source of love will surely bless your choice to keep loving your partner. May you succeed and continue to grow in your relationship!

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References:
www.elitedaily.com/p/is-falling-in-love-a-choice-no-but-staying-in-love-with-one-person-is-8713658
www.huffpost.com/entry/falling-in-love-is-easy-but-you-have-to-choose-to-stay-in-love_b_8147980
www.artofwellbeing.com/2018/08/03/stayinlove/

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