Devotionals

2 Tips for Coping with the Loss of a Loved One in Faith

By ayu single · September 28, 2021 · 6 min read

As we entered one year of the pandemic, loss began to sound familiar to our ears. In June-July 2021, one piece of sad news after another came as if without pause. Even those closest to us were not spared, such as coworkers, friends, close friends, even family. Outbreaks of disease that perhaps had never crossed our minds before now came and caused us to lose our loved ones.

Whatever the cause, losing a loved one is no small matter. This can bring wounds and grief that linger for a long time. Besides that, we may find it hard to believe that this has happened in our own lives. “Why did this have to happen to me?” Perhaps in our hearts we ask that question.

Loss = Something Everyone Will Experience

Loss. I experienced it last year when a friend from my church died suddenly. The news came without any warning, arriving uninvited. He died of a heart condition he had suffered from for years. I was shocked, unable to believe that my friend was gone. In fact, just a few days earlier, my other friends and I were still laughing and joking with him.

On the day he was buried, I was deeply saddened. I still could not believe that my friend had gone to be with the Lord. It was on that day that I realized that losing a loved one is something everyone will experience at some point in life.

But why does losing someone we love feel so painful? There are many reasons, but perhaps these two things represent it best:

Why Does Loss Feel So Painful?

1. Loss Wounds Us Emotionally

Enduring a physical wound is easy. But when the heart is hurt, the pain feels different. It is easy to treat wounds on the body. It is hard when the heart or feelings are wounded. As it says in Proverbs 17:22, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

If a crushed spirit alone already affects our soul so deeply, how much more when we are left by someone we love. Especially if our relationship with that person was very close, such as family, friends, or close friends.

2. Loss Changes Life Drastically

Beyond the emotional impact, being left by a loved one can also affect daily life. For example, if a family is left behind by its breadwinner, it will certainly affect the family’s financial condition. The people who used to be our support in life, whether materially financially or emotionally, are now no longer there.

Life feels different. The days feel heavy and unfamiliar. It feels as though life has just been torn down and must be built again.

It is not easy if you are now or have ever been grieving because of the loss of someone you love. However, no one will escape this. The people around us are only entrusted to us by God, and they will not be with us forever. Loss is unavoidable. But how we go through it is a choice.

Responding to Loss with Faith

People react differently when facing loss, and it cannot all be treated the same. Some people are very sad and others are not too sad. Still, it can be said that grief and the sadness that comes with it are certainly there.

The next question is, how do we face that sadness? May we grieve as believers? Of course we may. Jesus also grieved. In John 11:33, Jesus, seeing Mary and Martha grieving because of Lazarus’s death, wept as well. The reason is found in verse 5, “Jesus indeed loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.”

But is it wise for us to keep grieving?

The sorrow produced by loss is indeed painful, but grieving continually without trying to rise again will not produce anything. Those who have gone will not return, though of course they will forever remain in our hearts. What we need to do is rise and respond to loss with full faith. Here are the things you need to do:

1. Accept Reality

Do we believe that everything, good or bad, comes by God’s permission? Job realized this. Job lost everything in one day: his possessions, his family, even his health, without any clear reason. Job’s wife even advised him to curse God and die. But how did Job answer?

“But Job answered her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks! Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive what is bad?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips” – Job 2:10.

Good and bad events take turns in this life. At times, we cannot choose what we want and what we want to avoid. Yet Job affirmed that whatever God allowed to happen, he accepted it.

That is what we need to realize. When someone we love departs, it is already in God’s plan. And we need to be able to accept that reality and continue living.

2. Believe That God Will Heal and Restore

Surely God understands that we grieve. And He is not silent. Again and again God promises to comfort and heal the wounds of our hearts.

In Psalm 34:18, it says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,

and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Then, in Psalm 147:3, it is again said, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”

Even, in the time to come, He promises in Revelation 21:4 to “...wipe every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more; there shall be no more mourning, or crying, or sorrow, for the former things have passed away.”

Why does God need to give this promise? I believe that God understands our sadness. He is not a cruel and cold God. On the contrary, He is the Father who heals and strengthens us. We only need to come and ask Him to bind up our wounds and give us comfort.

Once again, loss is not something easy to face. Some people can recover quickly. But others need quite a long time to recover. Yet whatever process we go through, remember that all of this is part of God’s plan and He will heal. This will surely strengthen us.

Keep hoping and believing that God has the best plan. Remember, whatever happens, life must go on. If God is with us in beautiful seasons, then in difficult seasons too, such as times of grieving the loss of someone we love, God will still be with us. God bless you! - Related Articles: