When Fear Strikes: Closer and More Intimate with God

Life’s challenges can draw us closer to God or farther away from Him, depending on how we respond. Do we seek help from things outside of Him, or bow in full surrender at His feet. 

During the new normal, we have returned to doing activities outside the home as usual, though in unusual ways. The COVID-19 pandemic is not over yet, while economic demands continue. Like it or not, we gather the courage to go out, even though things are not fully safe yet. The number of positive cases keeps rising, but many people do not follow health protocols. 

As good employees, we keep working and carrying out our responsibilities. Yet the danger of catching the virus continues to haunt us throughout the day. How do we overcome this fear? 

Do Not Stay Silent

That afternoon, while I was on duty at the office, a coworker shared some cookies with me. I gladly accepted them, then sat and chatted with her. However, my mood changed immediately when another coworker warned me to be careful. According to her, the coworker handing out the cookies had a high fever and was coughing last week. While we were talking, she did cough lightly from time to time behind her mask.

I grew more worried when this coworker went home early because she said she was not feeling well. Oh no, were those not all symptoms of coronavirus? What if she had been infected? What if I caught it because of the cookies she gave me? What if I infect my husband and my child? What if I have to be hospitalized and isolated? 

All those “what ifs” slammed me into a dark corner that left me afraid all day long. What should I do? Even though I had tried hard to put away thoughts of all those frightening possibilities, anxiety still covered my heart. 

At last I decided to act:

Be Honest About Your Feelings

So I asked for help by telling my husband about it through chat, hoping his response could clear my mind again. 

“As long as you wear a mask, keep your distance, and wash your hands often, you’ll be fine.” That was my husband’s answer, and it eased my anxiety quite a bit. Come to think of it, I do always wear a mask when I am outside the house, including at the office. The employees’ desks are not too close together either, and I am diligent about washing my hands with soap. 

Thousands of years ago, Jesus also once felt that weak, yet He honestly expressed His feelings. The three sleepy disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane heard their Teacher’s confession.

Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and keep watch with Me.” – Matthew 26:38

When we struggle to control our feelings, sharing or sharing our thoughts and feelings can be a solution for dealing with them. Of course, we tell someone we believe can strengthen us, not someone who will only add to our fear. 

“If the virus could spread that easily, maybe millions of people in this country would already be infected. So don’t think too far ahead,” my husband said again. I realized that fear produces nothing, but following health protocols will reduce my risk of being exposed to the virus. It made me grateful to have a husband who understands, instead of laughing at my worries.

Choose Positive Thinking

When I got home from the office, I immediately cleaned myself up, then took time to pray before touching my little daughter. I did not dare hug and kiss her often. Even though that was what I missed most after being apart all day, the worry from what had happened that afternoon kept me from doing it.

In fact, as a precaution against transmission, let alone hugging and kissing her, I really should not have touched my daughter at all. I ought to have isolated myself immediately for 14 days. In reality, I did not do that. I was tossed back and forth between two opposing thoughts, and it left me exhausted.

At last I chose to conquer that uncertainty by directing my thoughts to Christ. Because if I let it continue, it would not be the virus but fear that would kill me. I tried to see things from a broader perspective and weigh the facts. After all, the number of patients who recover is far greater than the number who die. Besides, I was not necessarily infected, so why worry about things that were unnecessary?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things. – Philippians 4:8

Closer to God

That afternoon, I prayed before touching my baby. I whispered words of affirmation into her tiny ears, “Stay healthy, my child. We will be all right.” Even every time I took a deep breath, I prayed that it would be free from every disease that could endanger my daughter. 

That night, I sang songs of praise to magnify God’s greatness, while also strengthening my own heart. When I woke up in the middle of the night (and on the nights that followed), I bowed down and prayed especially for the safety of our whole family. I surrendered fully to the Savior, hoping He would be willing to answer my prayers and petitions. 

That incident made me realize our helplessness as human beings. No matter how strong and great our efforts may be, in the end it is God’s protection that saves us. I understood more clearly that God had protected me beyond what I could imagine. He guarded me perfectly, and also covered all my carelessness and weakness.  

This fear brought me closer to God. It reminded me to hold on to faith more tightly. It made my heart cling to Him, to the warmth of His compassion. His figure as a good Father became more real to me. Even when I sometimes forget to ask for His protection, He still protects me. 

I do not know how many times I “pleaded” with God in prayer, exactly like a little child asking her father to buy her a toy. Again and again I said, “Lord, help me. Deliver me from danger. I beg You, have mercy on me. Cover my carelessness with Your protection. I am weak, O Lord, and it is only to You that I surrender.”  Yet since that incident, these words have flowed more easily because I believe that only God can preserve my life.

Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

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Several weeks after that incident, I was grateful every morning to wake up with a healthy body. I was also relieved to learn that my coworker’s condition had improved. Clearly, my worries did not prove true. All that fear ended only as a feeling.

I am grateful that we all have God, the One we can lean on when we are at our weakest point. By honestly acknowledging our feelings, directing ourselves toward positive thoughts, and drawing closer to God, we will be enabled to overcome every challenge in life. May we all remain close to Him, without having to wait for fear to strike us first. Amen!

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