Self-Love: The Limits of Loving Yourself

Recently, the self-love (loving yourself) movement has become popular. Self-love is a form of acceptance and appreciation of yourself, how you love yourself for who you are, and care about your well-being and happiness. 

Is self-love in line with the word of God? What does self-love look like when it is right? And where are the normal boundaries in loving yourself?

 

Ways of Loving Yourself

And the second commandment is: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. – Mark 12:31

Self-love is different from selfishness. Without self-love, we cannot love others and God. Only people who have self-love can love. For how can you pour water into someone else's glass if your own glass is empty?

We often hear or read about the topic of loving others, but perhaps we rarely think about how we love ourselves. In fact, loving yourself should be something natural for us to do without needing to be commanded or reminded.

For no one ever hates his own body, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. – Ephesians 5:29

Even so, there are people who do not practice self-love. Some feel unworthy of love, so they see no need to pay attention to themselves. Perhaps they were raised in an environment that expected them to keep sacrificing and neglecting themselves. Maybe they do not understand what self-love is and why it matters.

Self-love that is lacking makes us feel inferior and likely to stay in unhealthy relationships. For example, we think it is normal to be treated harshly because we feel we deserve it. A lack of self-love also makes us like to compare ourselves with others, feel uncomfortable with our own appearance, or seek security in the wrong places.

How you love yourself will determine your life, your activities, as well as your mindset and priorities. Caring for yourself can begin with everyday activities such as:

1. Getting Enough Sleep

Giving our bodies proper rest is one form of self-love. When we get enough sleep, our bodies will be healthier. If you still enjoy looking for nighttime entertainment, only sleep at dawn, or work excessively without adequate rest, that means you do not love yourself.

"Sleep now and take your rest. It is enough." – Mark 14:41b

2. Consuming Healthy Food and Drink

What you consume will affect your health. If you have cholesterol issues or hypertension, but do not control the foods and drinks that trigger them, you are not caring for yourself.

Those who have the habit of drinking alcohol and using illegal drugs also do not have self-love. In general, people who are addicted to substances are never far from acts of violence, even toward those closest to them. If they cannot even love themselves, how can they possibly love others?

A healthy lifestyle is part of spiritual discipline. Have control over the food and drink that enter your body, which is God's own temple (1 Corinthians 6:19).

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are beneficial. All things are lawful for me, but I will not let myself be mastered by anything. – 1 Corinthians 6:12 

3. Making Time for Inner Needs

In life, there will be times when you feel bored, tired, and weary. At times like these, you may give time to yourself. Do your hobbies, whether that is reading books, watching movies at the cinema, making art, going for a walk, meeting friends, or exercising.

Activities that pamper yourself are good. However, do not forget what is more important, namely filling the emptiness within.

You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. – Psalm 16:11 

Set aside time to meet your spiritual needs, such asworship, praying, reading and studying the word of God, and getting involved in community activities that can build your faith . Remember, joy in abundance is found only in the Lord.

4. Building Positive Relationships

Surround yourself with positive people who have good intentions. Take part in activities that enrich your character. Join a community that can help you become a better person in the Lord. Do not maintain unhealthy relationships with people who always look for faults, think negatively, or make you feel that you deserve to be treated badly.

The Effects of Self-Love Taken Too Far

Excessive self-love is just as unhealthy as too little self-love. Its effects include:

1Selfish and Never Satisfied

Whoever loves his life will lose it, but whoever does not love his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. – John 12:25 

Self-love taken too far will make you selfish. You do not care about others. Everything is only about you. You are afraid you will not have time for yourself when challenged to love God by having personal devotions. Afraid of being given the burden of loving and caring for others. Refusing to serve or help others if there is nothing in it for you.

In work or study, you are afraid of becoming tired or not being able to rest if you have to work hard. You choose to work or study halfheartedly, slacking off, making yourself as comfortable and at ease as possible. You want to get good things without hard effort.

At first you may be happy to get everything you want easily. However, none of it is true, and you will always be ruled by dissatisfaction, no matter how good or how many things you have.

2. Enslaved to Appearance

To achieve the best appearance, you are willing to work hard, buy beautiful and expensive clothes, luxurious jewelry, famous cosmetics, and never forget to dress yourself up.

However, when you are invited to love God and leave sin, you have many excuses to avoid it. Busy, troublesome, maybe another time, not yet, not interested yet. You even argue and defend yourself.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ as the armor of light and do not care for your body to gratify its desires. – Romans 13:14 

There is nothing wrong with looking good and stylish. But reflect on this, do you care more about what people think of your appearance, or what God thinks of you?

If the answer is yes, self-love that you practice is still misguided, and even tends to fall into narcissism. You forget that there is a priority more important than your appearance, namely God.

Let us practice self-love within proper limits, and most importantly, in accordance with the word of God.

For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God with your body! – 1 Corinthians 6:20  - Related Articles:

• Jesus Wants Us to Be Ourselves
• Do Not Underestimate Selfishness
• Building Togetherness in Community
• Healthy Friendship, Salvation Near
• Practice These 2 Habits so Your Life Glorifies God

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