Teaching Teenagers to Fear God Wisely

Teaching the fear of the Lord to teenagers is a major challenge for parents. When your child is born into the world, they are only a tiny, weak, helpless baby. You want to love, care for, and raise them. You place dreams and hopes for the future on them.

As time goes by, that little baby is no longer cute and adorable. Upon entering the teenage years, their behavior starts to get irritating, making your emotions rise and fall like a roller coaster. They become the source of commotion, the maker of problems, and make your life uneasy. You begin to worry: what if they take the wrong path and their life falls apart? 

Before it is too late, let us learn how to raise teenagers so that they have the fear of the Lord. There are several methods that can help you do this. 

The first two things you need to remember and practice as a parent are:

Teach Children Early, Do Not Wait Until They Are Teenagers

Even children are known by the way they act, whether their conduct is pure and right. – Proverbs 20:11 

When a child is still small and behaves badly, some parents ignore it by thinking, “Ah, they are still little. They do not understand anything yet,” or, “Just let it be, they will understand on their own later.” Some even consider their children’s bad behavior cute and entertaining.

Do not wait until your child is too grown up and only then rush to guide them. The Book of Proverbs says that we can recognize a child’s character from an early age. Just as when you see your child’s talents and interests, then help plan their future, you can actually observe the tendencies of your child’s behavior from the time they are small. Whether good or bad, in the long run, a child’s behavior will become habit, even character that sticks to them.

Raising Children: A Long-Term Investment

Train up a young person in the way that is right for them, and even in old age they will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6 

Raising children, especially to fear the Lord, is a long-term process. You may not enjoy the results right now. However, the Bible says that instruction in youth or adolescence can later help a child in adulthood, even into old age. Your instruction keeps them from straying from the path of truth.

Discipline your child, and they will give you peace and bring you joy. – Proverbs 29:17 

Leading your teenager to obey God is a long-term investment. If your child fears the Lord, you can live in peace and go through your later years with joy.

Do not delay teaching your child as early as possible to do what is right in the Lord. A sister shared that her teenage nephew did not want to go to school, slept all day, and went to an internet cafe to play online game all night. Whatever he asked for had to be given to him; otherwise, he would rebel, resist, and even strike his parents. Surely you do not want this to happen in your family, do you?

Then, how do you teach the fear of the Lord to your teenager? 

Two first steps you can take are:

Do Not Hurt Their Heart 

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21

As parents, we must not hurt our children with harsh words or negative, demeaning comments. Imagine if you yourself were spoken to that way, especially by the people you love?

Instead, build your child’s self-worth with words that strengthen. Remind them that they are valuable and special in God’s eyes, no matter how badly others may speak about them. Use words that encourage, not words that wound. If you can hold yourself back from speaking harshly to others when you are upset or angry, you can do the same with your child.

Do Not Focus on Their Mistakes

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. – Psalm 103:12

In general, we find it easier to remember other people’s mistakes than their goodness. As the saying goes: a year’s heat is erased by a day’s rain. This means that much good we do can disappear because of only a small mistake.

Parents must not focus only on their children’s mistakes. Instead, focus on the good things they have. You must seek out and remember your teenager’s positive qualities. In this way, you can plant in them the understanding that God is most forgiving, not resentful, and able to accept the child as they are with all their strengths and weaknesses.

After applying the two initial steps above, you now have a good connection with your teenager. They feel more comfortable with you, trust you, so it will be easier for you to guide them. 

Next, take the following three steps:

Teach About God Repeatedly

These commands that I give you today must be on your heart. Teach them repeatedly to your children and talk about them when you sit at home, when you are on the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. – Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Introduce your teenager to the God you know—and not only once, but again and again. Wherever and whenever. When you spend time alone with them. In devotional family times. When they are down, joyful, failing, succeeding. Also, when they do what is improper or wrong. 

Always connect everything that happens in their life with God, so that your child has a relationship with God naturally and without compulsion.

Get Children Used to Praying and Reading the Word

Physical training is of limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, because it holds promise both for this life and for the life to come. – 1 Timothy 4:8 

Train your teenager to draw close to God through prayer and reading God’s word. However, you yourself must do what you teach. Make prayer and reading the word a habit in the family so that it is easier for your child to do it. You can also accompany your child in prayer, read the Bible together, and share what you learned from the reading.

By getting your child used to praying and reading the word, you are building their faith on the rock. 

Surround Children with Uplifting Friendships

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. – Ecclesiastes 4:9 

If you alone teach your teenager to fear the Lord, there is a strong possibility that you will fail. You need other people to help and support your child, besides yourself as their parent. 

For that reason, place your teenage sons and daughters in uplifting friendships, namely a strong youth community that fears the Lord and practices closeness to God. In that way, your child does not feel alone, but receives support from friends their own age.

It must be acknowledged that fearing the Lord, by doing His commands and staying away from His prohibitions, is not an easy thing for teenagers to live out in the millennial era. Therefore, a good social environment and an uplifting community will strengthen them in facing every challenge of life.

Teaching teenagers obedience to God must also be accompanied by the parents’ own conviction that fearing the Lord is important. Remember, action speaks louder than words. So, begin everything with yourself. Live in the fear of the Lord and in closeness to God, so that your sons and daughters can make you their role model s. Keep going! You can do it!

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