Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side?

The grass is always greener on the other side. This saying is implicitly written in a snippet of the lyrics from one of the theme songs of the animated film “The Little Mermaid”:

The seaweed is always greener
The seaweed is always greener

In somebody else's lake
In somebody else's lake

This song is addressed to Ariel, the mermaid princess who dreams of dreams of living on land. She considers life on land far more beautiful than life under the sea. 

We are often like Ariel too, thinking that “the grass is greener on the other side,” that what other people have is more beautiful than what we have. In the end we get trapped in envy, no longer grateful for our lives, and even wanting other people's lives. 

So, is “the grass greener on the other side” really true? What is God's perspective on this?

1. There Are Many Things in Other People's Lives That We Do Not Know

In what areas do you feel you are not as good as others? How do you know your life is not as good as theirs? Is it from their achievements that you know for certain? Or from the stories they display on social media?

When you begin comparing your life with other people's lives, remember this: Everybody has a chapter they don’t read out load. Everyone has a story they do not broadcast loudly.

I onceposted a photo showing my face with a wide smile while on a solo adventure to Bandung. People gave likes and commented that my life looked so wonderful. In fact, at that time I had just argued over chat with my younger sibling. The words made me sad, so even though I was at a recreation spot, I took a moment to be alone and cry.

Of course, I did not write this part in the caption of my photo. With wording that was fun and seemed strong, I uploaded that photo of a happy face, a moment when I forced myself to smile after crying. Because I thought that whatever happened, I was the one in control of my life.

Why are you envious of other people's lives? Do you know their whole life story so that you conclude your life is worse? People only show what they want to show. They may not allow you to see their wounds or shortcomings. So this outward standard is not a fair comparison. 

A tranquil heart refreshes the body, but envy rots the bones. – Proverbs 14:30  

2. Envy Can Rob You of Salvation

Is envy a sin? 

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, strife, envy, anger, selfish ambition, dissension, a divisive spirit, drunkenness, wild partying, and the like. I warn you about these things, just as I warned you before,that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. – Galatians 5:19-21

The first thing we can conclude from the verse above is that envy is a work of the flesh and a sin. At first I was surprised to see envy placed alongside other sins that seem to have heavier effects. However, before God there is no such thing as big and small sins. Envy stands on the same level as sexual immorality, drunkenness, and dissension.

Envy is not a trivial matter. In fact, out of so many kinds of sin, envy is included in this top-10 list mentioned in the Ten Commandments.

“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet his wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:17

Second, we are taught that envious people will not inherit the kingdom of God. Envy hinders the progress of life and risks causing us to lose salvation, so we must take it seriously. 

People may not be able to see our hearts or detect our feelings but God knows. When we begin to be ungrateful, begin comparing, and even desire other people's lives, that is where we have already sinned. 

But each person is tempted by his own desire, because he is dragged away and enticed by it. Then when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is full-grown, it brings forth death. – James 1:14-15

From the heart arise various desires that, if indulged, become sin. Therefore, God wants us always to guard our hearts. 

Guard your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. – Proverbs 4:23

3. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Motivator and millionaire W. Mitchell once had a motorcycle accident that left his body severely burned. He lost all his fingers and almost his entire face. For years Mitchell went through recovery, until at last he succeeded in flying an airplane even without fingers. But then again, he had an accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down.

While being treated in the hospital, Mitchell saw how patients there lamented their circumstances. He responded, “You keep focusing on what you cannot do. But I see it this way: before the accident I could do ten thousand things, now there are only a thousand left. So I will focus my mind on the thousand things I can do.”

The person who had two talents in Matthew 25:14-30 was not busy wondering, “Why was I given only two talents? Why was that person given five talents?” Instead of grieving or lamenting what he did not have, he put the talents to work that had been given by his master. 

Everyone has weaknesses and strengths. There is no need to be preoccupied with what we do not have. For example, you may be gifted in teaching, but you are not good at playing guitar or sports. You do not need to lament, “Why can't I play guitar? Why am I not good at sports?” Focus on the things God has given you, and develop them as best you can. 

Even if your strength is only (in your opinion) a desire to learn diligently, you can still achieve extraordinary results. You can become an inspiring person, and become a light to many people. 

So we have different gifts according to the grace given to us: if the gift is prophecy, let us use it according to our faith. If the gift is serving, let us serve; if the gift is teaching, let us teach; if the gift is encouraging, let us encourage. 

Whoever shares something, let him do it with sincerity; whoever leads, let him do it diligently; whoever shows mercy, let him do it with joy. – Romans 12:6-8

4. Your Grass Will Be Greener if You Water It

I want you to learn another saying, namely the grass is greener where you water it. Your grass will be greener if you water it. 

Perhaps all this time your neighbor's grass has looked greener because they diligently water it. Meanwhile, you are busy looking at other houses and wondering, “How can their grass be that green? How do they do it?” 

The way is simple: start paying attention to the grass in your own yard, and water it regularly. Believe me, one day its blades will be no less green. At that point, you too can sing:

The seaweed is always greener
The seaweed is always greener

In somebody else's lake
In somebody else's lake

You dream about going up there
You dream of going up there

But that is a big mistake
But that is a big mistake

Just look at the world around you
Just look at the world around you

Right here on the ocean floor
Right here on the ocean floor

Such wonderful things surround you
Such wonderful things surround you

What more are you lookin' for?
What more are you looking for?

Human beings, with all their weaknesses, can get trapped in envy toward others. The reality is that everyone has things they do not tell the wider public. So guard your heart, and take the sin of envy seriously. God has already given each person their own portion. Focus on your own strengths, and develop them as fully as possible. Give no space for envy! That way, you can shine according to His design. Amen.

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References:
Management for A Great Life - The Secret of Successfully Managing Yourself, by Adrian Kusnadi
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W_Mitchell

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