God's Original Design for Marriage

Marriage... this word is already familiar to all of us. People all across the far corners of the earth even have their own understanding of marriage. If we search the internet for topics about marriage, we will find countless definitions and values that actually come from the development of human opinion itself.

Opinions about the pursuit of happiness, finding true love, a lifelong companion, a friend to share life with, and even a symbol of achievement are some of the meanings of marriage that are still generally held by society today. But is that really all? If marriage is for seeking happiness or finding a lifelong companion, then why do so many failures and divorces happen? Did God create marriage only to fail? Then the next central question we must ask is: what is God's true design for marriage?

If we return to digging into God's guide for life called the Bible, nowhere does God state that marriage is a means of seeking happiness, a means of gaining a lifelong companion to share with, a conflict-free zone, and the like. Marriage is not a box full of gifts or Aladdin's lamp ready to give whatever we want. Marriage is actually like an empty box that must be filled. How and with what we choose to fill it is what must be considered. Do we want to fill it with God's values such as love, forgiveness, acceptance, respect, and what is right, or instead fill it with ego, excessive expectations, perfectionism, and other destructive things?

If so, then what actually is God's design for marriage? Let us see what God says in the Bible about marriage:

• Who is our true identity?

Genesis 1 : 26-28 

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

From the very beginning, God created men and women in His image. That means human beings are actually very precious. But how many people today are living according to this identity?

After God created man and woman, He said that humanity should be fruitful and multiply... this is the beginning of how God created the marriage relationship. Marriage is like the harmony of the triune personality of God. A marriage centered on God will move toward balance, but on the contrary, if a marriage is centered on self or only on a spouse, it will surely move away from balance.

• The bond of marriage reflects Christ's relationship with the Church.

Ephesians 5 : 31-32

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.

How does Christ love His church? It is extraordinary! Christ is willing to sacrifice, forgive, nurture, sanctify, and there are countless forms of God's love that have been given to His church. In the previous verses of Ephesians 5, it is explained how a husband and wife should live out a marriage, which, when observed carefully, is very different from the values commonly circulating in society.

If a man and a woman who know their identity in God and understand Christ's heart toward the church then form a marriage commitment, one can imagine how inspiring their relationship will be.

With the right understanding, the way a marriage is lived out will also become very different. That empty box will be filled with abundant selfless love, forgiveness, patience, acceptance, kindness, hope, truth, and holiness. Is this not what every human heart truly longs for? This is the original design God had in mind for a marriage. Very far from the values circulating in society today, isn't it?

Let us be honest and ask ourselves... whose understanding am I embracing and practicing in marriage? Is the marriage I am living in already in accordance with God's blueprint ?

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