Daring to Speak the Truth in Love

Have you ever known the truth, but been too afraid to say it? When I was newly baptized, I was a very reserved person and afraid of hurting other people's feelings. I worried that my words would offend or wound someone.

When I saw a brother doing something wrong, I simply stayed silent and kept it in my heart. Even when I saw that person run into trouble because of what he had done, I still kept quiet. In my heart, I justified the instincts and views I had long held about him. I did nothing to warn him.

As I began to grow spiritually, I learned that openness is very important. Not only the things that are good and pleasant to hear. At times, we need to speak the truth of God's Word to our fellow believers. Even though it may be hard to accept.

Yes. Speaking the truth is not easy. But the Bible teaches quite a lot about it, because that is what God wants. After all, if we truly love our brothers and sisters, are we willing to watch them come to harm?

Why Do We Need to Speak the Truth?

For we all stumble in many ways... (James 3:2a)

Even in the congregation, not a single person is perfect. We are guilty in many ways. When was the last time you failed to deny yourself against the sin you struggle with most? Perhaps there is a brother who repeatedly fails to have a consistent quiet time. Perhaps there is a sister who does not make wise decisions.

In that situation, what do we all need?

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15 – NIV)

Proverbs 6:23 For the command is a lamp, and the teaching a light, and corrective rebukes are the way of life,

If we look in the Bible, figures such as Moses, David, Elijah, Peter, and Paul were great people chosen by God. But there were times when their hearts went astray. What did they need at moments like that? Rebuke.

If even they needed rebuke and truth to bring their hearts and mission back to God, how much more do you and I?

Then, What Is Our Purpose in Speaking the Truth?

When David sinned by taking Bathsheba as his wife and planning the murder of Uriah, Bathsheba's husband (2 Samuel 12:1-13), the prophet Nathan came and rebuked him. When David heard Nathan's words, he came to his senses and pleaded for God's forgiveness.

When we speak the truth to our brother or sister, we are actually helping them avoid a more fatal mistake. The following Word of God states it clearly:

This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply so that they will be sound in the faith, and will no longer pay attention to Jewish myths and human commands of those who turn away from the truth. (Titus 1:13-14)

So, we speak the truth to restore our brother or sister's spiritual health and bring them back to the Lord's path. Besides that, we also keep ourselves from sinning by failing to do what is right (James 4:17).

Then, What Should We Pay Attention to When Speaking the Truth?

            When speaking the truth, courage alone is not enough. We need to train ourselves to express our intent so that what we do will be effective. Here are some things we need to pay attention to when speaking the truth:

1. Regard the Other Person as a Brother or Sister

2 Thessalonians 3:15 - Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

Always remember that we are speaking with a fellow believer, not with an enemy. Do not focus on your dislike of what they have done. Focus on bringing their heart back to God. Speak with love, not with a spirit of hostility.

2. Make Sure You Have Pure Motives, Not Deceit

1 Thessalonians 2:3 - For our appeal does not spring from error or impure motives, nor is it made with deceit.

Examine your own heart first before coming to someone. Do not let there be hidden motives or our own interests when we speak the truth to a brother or sister. Remove all the labels in your mind and make sure your own heart is pure.

3. A Way of Speaking That Fits the Need

And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are living in idleness, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

There are many reasons we need to speak the truth. However, the verse above teaches that for different reasons, we need to use different approaches. Perhaps we see a brother or sister whose life is no longer in order, who rarely goes to church, rarely reads the Bible, and rarely prays. Perhaps we realize that someone does not have the right priorities, lives in friendship with sin, and is destroying themselves. That is when we need to rebuke them.

But what if we see a brother or sister who is fainthearted, down, or spiritually weak? Perhaps rebuke will not lift their spirit. They need encouragement so that their faith can rise again. Remind them of the good things about themselves and of God's goodness in their lives.

When we find someone being treated unjustly, disrespectfully, or abusively, we need to defend what is right. We need to be courageous enough to speak the truth in line with God's Word.

But does God want us to stop at merely speaking the truth? No. We also need to be patient with one another. Perhaps our brother or sister does not immediately understand what we mean. If they receive it, they may still not be able to repent right away. Perhaps the same person repents, but then falls into the same hole again. God does not want us merely to judge. Be patient with everyone.

If your brother or sister sins, rebuke them in private. If they listen to your advice you have won them back. (Matthew 18:15)

Perhaps speaking the truth is not an easy process to go through. But if we obey the Word and faithfully do it, the reward is very great. We will win our brother or sister back for the Lord! So, do not grow weary of speaking the truth.

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