Building a Happy Home: Consider These 2 Things Before Marriage

Building a home usually begins with making a marriage covenant. Your wedding may be lavish or simple, with a reception or without one. Yet no amount of congratulatory boards, a stunning venue, or beautiful wedding attire can guarantee the beauty of your marriage relationship later on.

The most important point is what happens after that moment: is your household built with full joy?

To build a house, which we can renovate or sell, we need a lot of consideration. All the more when building a household that we will live in forever, serious thought and careful evaluation are certainly needed.

So, consider these two things carefully before you decide to get married:

Consideration 1: With Whom Are You Building a Household?

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or how can light be united with darkness?” – Corinthians 6: 14

Before deciding to build a household, make sure that you and your partner share the same faith and convictions. This is the most fundamental thing in marriage. This unity will encourage both of you to work together, shoulder to shoulder, to build the household you long for. A household that, though not perfect, remains warm because the love of God is in it.

Being a well-matched couple means that husband and wife have the same standards and principles. Why must it be so?

First, married life will tend to be easier because each party understands how to treat a spouse, raise children, relate to the extended family, manage finances, and face things that risk triggering quarrels.

Second, if one party makes a mistake, that person will repent more quickly because he or she has the fear of God.

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. – Psalm 127:1a

Some assume that inviting a partner to know God can be done after marriage. “Later, little by little, I will invite my partner to church.” Or, “Once we are married, surely he will change into a better person.”

Without meaning to doubt God's power, the decision to marry someone who does not believe and hoping marriage will change his or her character often ends in disappointment.

An imbalance in the spiritual lives of husband and wife can result in a lack of synchronization in the “building” of the household. One party wants to build, but the other does not help, or even wants to tear it down. In other words, even if our heart intends to influence, we ourselves are the ones influenced instead. Rather than bringing our partner closer to God, it is we who drift farther from God.

Consideration 2: Make Sure Your Purpose for Marriage Is Right

In navigating the ship of marriage, you and your partner must know where that ship is headed. Of these four goals, which one is your reason for marrying?

1. Gaining Happiness

This is a very naive goal. How could we expect to be happy when our freedom and time are more limited than when we were still single? How can we be happier when finances are more tied down, our words and attitudes must be guarded, we must humble ourselves, serve one another, and share thoughts and feelings?

Happiness in marriage does not simply fall into our lap, but requires struggle and sacrifice. That is why some people, after getting married, actually feel that they have lost freedom, joy, even salvation. The happiness during the wedding ceremony evaporates as the flowers on the congratulatory boards wither.

Do not rely on other people to give us happiness. Only God can give us true joy.

Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose hope is in the LORD! – Jeremiah 17:7

2. Having Children

There is nothing wrong with hoping to have children after marriage. However, making that the sole purpose of marriage is mistaken.

If the purpose of marriage is to have children, then a couple who does not have children is considered a failure. How unfair such a view is. It is just as unfair as parents telling their child to divorce a spouse because it is difficult to have children. Even though, when a marriage is blessed, we clearly say, “Only death will separate us.”

"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate." – Matthew 19:6

3. Gaining Clarity of Status

When one reaches a more mature age, siblings are already married, and the family begins to demand it, an unpleasant situation is created for singles.

It cannot be denied that the influence of culture and society's values becomes a major pressure for young people to start a family quickly. In the end, even though they are not yet sure about a partner's character, background, and quality, they marry only to free themselves from social pressure. There are also those who have not yet been called to marry, but are forced to end their single years so they will not become the subject of gossip.

Sadly, marrying for this reason is more often a rash and risky act. Do not let yourself regret choosing the wrong person and living unhappily, just for the sake of the status of “already married”.

4. Fulfilling God's Plan

This is the right purpose of marriage, because God Himself took the initiative to create a household for Adam and Eve.

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18

Marriage means fulfilling God's plan to make human life  better. We will have joy and our salvation will be more safeguarded, because we have a partner to help one another in living life.

“Bear one another's burdens. In this way you fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2

Only with the right person and the right purpose can a household be built well. If you feel you are not ready to start a family, still see only the beautiful side of marriage, or are still afraid to hold on to your own principles of faith, do not rush into marriage.

Pray, and ask for advice from mentors or brothers and sisters who are already married to help you see marriage more objectively, realistically, and spiritually. Walk through the process with God, who can give you true happiness.

The Lord Jesus bless you.

*Church GKDI is currently present in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area. If you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at contact Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

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